You made me cry and you don't even care
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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