Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
