so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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