I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
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