Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
