Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
