please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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