apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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