that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
