Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
i think my cat just said my name.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
