Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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