I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
