vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
