They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
