I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
