mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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