If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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