I feel like abortions should bother me more
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
