There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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