it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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