Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
