i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
