census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
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His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
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I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize