Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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