Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ladies don't puke and tell
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
