I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
