The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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