It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
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As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
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I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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