i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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