After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
