i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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