Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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