you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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