Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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