Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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