i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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