I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
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