I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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