trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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