Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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