you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize