real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I can text with my tongue
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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