How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
