I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
