put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
