I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize