I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
