My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
