I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
this beer tastes like vomit already
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You pole danced in your parka.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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