that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
