Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
