you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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