you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We have started to decorate penises.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
we're so committed to being not committed
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
