tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....