Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Did you go home with that guy without me?

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car

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  (919): Did you go home with that guy without me? (479): Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car http://tfl.nu/ua1d
  Replies (8) Good night (1263) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?

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  (401): This isn't the rejection hotline, is it? http://tfl.nu/jrbs
  Replies (17) Good night (858) Bad night (3650)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list

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  (330): Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list http://tfl.nu/ucvs
  Replies (40) Good night (1700) Bad night (14215)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen

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  (516): I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen http://tfl.nu/keq8
  Replies (18) Good night (1450) Bad night (8994)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.

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  (719): No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina. http://tfl.nu/dm8r
  Replies (9) Good night (4206) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.

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  (608): We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me. http://tfl.nu/8edb
  Replies (4) Good night (1375) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.

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  (303): Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend. http://tfl.nu/4mef
  Replies (3) Good night (1638) Bad night (592)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.

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  (251): Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now. http://tfl.nu/uhhh
  Replies (7) Good night (1051) Bad night (3071)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.

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  (603): Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes. http://tfl.nu/6vyp
  Replies (4) Good night (458) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.

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  (615): I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample. http://tfl.nu/ndxy
  Replies (4) Good night (924) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater

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  (952): College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater http://tfl.nu/orlm
  Replies (3) Good night (701) Bad night (406)
• Favorite

  (909): View more from California

  Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.

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  (909): Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work. http://tfl.nu/qyvz
  Replies (2) Good night (426) Bad night (701)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The stripper told Tom to sort his life out

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  (+44): The stripper told Tom to sort his life out http://tfl.nu/cnud
  Replies (9) Good night (719) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.

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  (636): I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious. http://tfl.nu/gqc7
  Replies (2) Good night (418) Bad night (198)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(

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  (480): And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :( http://tfl.nu/2iiq
  Replies (2) Good night (42) Bad night (129)

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