Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes

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  (610): I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes http://tfl.nu/4awr
  Replies (7) Good night (3698) Bad night (888)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.

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  (440): We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate. http://tfl.nu/v1r2
  Replies (9) Good night (1746) Bad night (4434)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive

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  (201): Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive http://tfl.nu/u57a
  Replies (13) Good night (4619) Bad night (1436)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.

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  (903): Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later. http://tfl.nu/bq2x
  Replies (14) Good night (7399) Bad night (1184)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians

  (503): View more from Oregon

  How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?

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  (206): I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians (503): How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often? http://tfl.nu/gll8
  Replies (20) Good night (5363) Bad night (1249)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight

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  (713): I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight http://tfl.nu/pekh
  Replies (14) Good night (1969) Bad night (1258)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"

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  (484): Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret" http://tfl.nu/9brs
  Replies (20) Good night (5096) Bad night (866)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous

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  (781): The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous http://tfl.nu/9eck
  Replies (3) Good night (561) Bad night (773)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I think we need to teach you what straight means again

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  (778): I think we need to teach you what straight means again http://tfl.nu/9bex
  Replies (3) Good night (1346) Bad night (558)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this

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  (413): I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this http://tfl.nu/znqy
  Replies (6) Good night (1817) Bad night (613)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.

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  (612): Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up. http://tfl.nu/k33q
  Replies (3) Good night (1832) Bad night (592)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.

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  (586): Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at. http://tfl.nu/sdak
  Replies (2) Good night (415) Bad night (818)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed

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  (408): I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed http://tfl.nu/4u9t
  Replies (0) Good night (606) Bad night (302)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close

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  (901): How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close http://tfl.nu/pa4w
  Replies (7) Good night (681) Bad night (402)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.

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  (434): I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism. http://tfl.nu/xlca
  Replies (3) Good night (616) Bad night (350)

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