OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.