You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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