I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN