Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
