Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
whose parrot is this?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
