the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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