and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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