there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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