Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
