I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
