But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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