What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize