Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
