another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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