i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You may now shotgun with the bride
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
