I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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